What is reciprocal mentoring? Reciprocal mentoring is when a more senior colleague is the “mentee” and the more junior colleague is the “mentor”. Rather than wisdom flowing one way, from senior to junior, both colleagues share insights and both colleagues learn from each other. With a previous programme I helped to launch, an established leader gained fresh insight into emerging technology at the firm as well as lived experiences of a colleague from a different background, while a mentor (junior colleague) developed commercial awareness and enjoyed accessing to one-to-one time with a more senior colleague who he wouldn’t normally have contact with. However, this exchange only works if both colleagues feel safe enough to be honest, to share what they don't know, what they are curious about or what skills they really need to develop and to challenge one another in a respectful way. That is where psychological safety comes in.
Having worked closely with a number of law firms and corporates on launching and re-launching their reciprocal mentoring programmes, it has been essential to talk about building trust and psychological safety when equipping mentees and mentors to be the best collaborators. The term “psychological safety” was coined by Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, who defined it as a shared belief that a team is safe for “interpersonal risk-taking” — a working environment or conversation space where people can speak up, ask questions and make mistakes without the fear of embarrassment, shame, negative career repercussions or punishment.
Its importance was also highlighted by Google's Project Aristotle, a multi-year study into what makes teams truly effective. After examining numerous teams, the researchers found that the single most significant factor was not talent, resources or individual brilliance, but psychological safety. Teams whose members felt safe to contribute ideas, viewpoints or constructive challenges consistently outperformed those who did not.
Apply this to reciprocal mentoring and the connection becomes clear. The reciprocal relationship may depend on openess and vulnerability, especially if the mentoring matching discusses complex topics which impact the workplace, individuals or wider society. A leader who is a reciprocal mentee must be willing to say if they do not know much about a certain topic (this isn’t always easy when they may usually be or respected as “the expert”. Having been a reciprocal mentor myself, I know how as the more junior colleague I needed to feel confident enough to offer candid feedback to someone more senior than me. My reciprocal mentee said upfront that she was interested in my views and what she could do better. I welcomed this from her too. Without psychological safety, conversations don’t explore topics or perspectives in depth, workplace hierarchies can prevent open conversations and the reciprocal learning could be less visible.
So what can you do to build psychological safety as a reciprocal mentee (more senior colleague)?
Building psychological safety takes intention - Agree ground rules or ways of working when you start working with your reciprocal mentor.
Be mindful to listen without judgement - We’re human and we all bring our own perspectives or viewpoints. Communicate curiosity rather than defensiveness, and treat talking about any career failures as learning lessons.
Use “psychological safety” as a talking point - As a senior colleague, share when you have positively experienced psychological safety during your career. Can you remember the fist supervisor or line manager who created psychologically safe meeting spaces or welcomed different perspectives from the team? When both the reciprocal mentee and the reciprocal mentor can see that honesty will be welcomed, reciprocal mentoring becomes genuinely transformative — for the individuals involved and the colleagues around them.
So what can you do to build psychological safety as a reciprocal mentor (more junior colleague in the mentoring matching)?
Think about what you would really appreciate from your reciprocal mentee when it comes to building psychological safety and trust with each other to aid your conversations? Share this when you first catch up.
Reciprocal mentees also need psychological safety - As a reciprocal mentor, remember it’s just as important that you build psychological safety so your reciprocal mentee can be open and if they wish, vulnerable when sharing any carer learning lessons. Remind your reciprocal mentee that you welcome their honesty if they have any knowledge gaps or if they feel unsure about discussing a particular topic. Let them know you’re not expecting them to know everything.
Welcome ideas from your reciprocal mentee - How would you like your mentee to share any ideas which might benefit your career growth or impact in your role at the organisation? Let them know that you welcome their perspectives even if you may have different career paths or lived experiences as individuals.
Thanks to all of the reciprocal mentees and reciprocal mentors who have worked with us at Collective Insight over the years.